I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
