hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
