Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
