Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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