Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
