Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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