my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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