By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
