The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
