whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
