im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
