Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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