it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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