I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
