I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
