I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
