problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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