No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
