too bad you live with your parents still
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
