Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
