I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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