True but thats because hes a fetus.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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