Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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