At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize