Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
