you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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