I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Randomize
