yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
