How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
