would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
