i jhust puked up my retainher.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
