she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You're like the curious george of whores
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
