My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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