for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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