its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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