its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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