i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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