Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
