when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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