i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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