Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
