Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
