Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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