my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
