I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
