every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
