alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
