I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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