Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
