it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
