Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
