I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
