just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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