who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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