You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
there is glitter all over my balls
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