also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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