Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
