Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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