hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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