sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
