Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
