she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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